What is a Slut, Exactly?

Sometimes, I find myself thinking crazy thoughts, like: “Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe there’s not as much gender discrimination as I think there is.” I’ll think: “Do I need to be as vigilant about feminism as I am?”

I question it, you know. I don’t want to be this vigilant. I don’t want to be a guard dog, always barking.

But then I see things like this, just around, in popular culture:

disappointing

And I think: “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”

Or men will make inappropriate comments at my office, like about how “Sports is something men like”, and I’ll say: “Some women like sports too.” Or I’ll hear someone make a comment about their wife, or their marriage, or whatever. In a derogatory way, because they’re in an unhappy marriage. (News flash: if you’re sexist, your marriage is always going to be bad. Because your wife can tell.)

This shit is everywhere, this sexist shit. Like “women aren’t as good as math”, or “women aren’t as good at being in charge.” Um. The other day I saw someone say something on facebook about how she didn’t feel like a woman because she didn’t have children.

Nope. Women are more than what they produce reproductively. Your sex organs don’t define you. That’s the core tenet of feminism.

“Bad girls”, “good girls”, what are those concepts? Are you a “bad girl” if you have sex with a lot of men? Are you a “good girl” if you don’t have sex with any? Are you a “bad girl” if you hate all men and never have sex with anyone? (Because I hate everyone who’s not my husband – I really do – but I always thought that just made me a “misanthrope”, not a “man-hater”). Are you a “good girl” if you like everyone and are a people-pleaser? Because I don’t like those people – I prefer straight-shooters.

I know this was innocent – whoever wrote that headline was being playful. Whoever decided to call those cookie monstrosities (or what Z would describe as “good stuff”) “slutty brownies” was just being playful.

But I don’t like that kind of play. What is a “slut”? Really? I really don’t understand the concept. And not in a slut-shaming way, in a conservative “what happens in other people’s bedrooms does not concern or interest me way”. Even if a “slut” is someone who has sex with many, many different men, why is that “bad”? What if it’s just “good”, or “fun”, or “playful”?

Besides, we can all be bad and good at the same time. There’s no such thing as a “bad girl” or a “good girl”, I mean, unless you are scolding or praising your dog.

Because I like to think of myself as being so bad… I’m good. 😉